March 3, 2007 – Augusta, Maine – In an announcement today,
G. Peter Pretorius, CEO of PayPimp (NASD: PYPMP) shocked Wall Street when he disclosed that he and the board of directors had agreed to be acquired by software giant iPimp (NASD: IPMP). The announcement did not surprise law enforcement officials who arrested Pretorius later in the day on charges of repeated jaywalking.
To investors however, this news was shocking as the 1984 dismantling of AT&T, also known at that time as “Ma Bell.” One investor was heard to state, “With PayPimp under its umbrella, iPimp is poised to conquer the world!”
The takeover by iPimp, whose slogan “Bringing the world’s oldest profession into the 21st Century,” was recently ranked among the top 10,000 slogans in America, is valued in the hundreds of dollars and although no disclosure as to whether or not it was a stock or cash deal, investors surmise that the agreement will be a cash purchase.
“The synergies of our two companies are amazing,” said August Deveraux, III, iPimp inventor and company founder. “Together, we only become stronger as the world has more options for paying for services rendered.”
PayPimp had been an icon of corporate America for over 1-½ centuries. Founded in San Francisco in 1849 as a remittance center and assay office, the company rose to fame by offering prostitutes the opportunity to redeem payment vouchers for gold dust. The company thrived until it fell under the gaze of the US Justice Department in 1998 when legal eagle Jeanette Rhino, reportedly incensed that she was unable to remit funds through the company, targeted it for investigation. Pundits at the time often referred to Rhino as a “two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar whore” as a result of her outrage against the company and her penchant for zeros and ones.
Then, in 2001 the company relocated to the “PayPimp World Centre” building in Augusta, Maine.
Speculation as to whether or not the company will retain its flagship low-rise headquarters was quashed when an iPimp spokesman stated, “We will immediately consolidate PayPimp operations into our existing infrastructure in Bangalore.”
Upon final consummation of the deal, iPimp will be ranked as the largest company of its kind in the world.
iPimp is a revolutionary software company that provides products and services for the pimping business. iPimp brings a level efficiency, accountability and profitability previously unheard of. Relying on traditional business principals born and refined in the most successful corporate boardrooms, iPimp takes hooking to a whole new level, and brings the worlds oldest profession in the 21st century.